Archive for January 2008
Miami
We arrived yesterday afternoon, it was a cool 28 Celsius and the sun was shining.
This is my first trip to Miami, not done much wondering about yet so I shall reserve my judgement until later.
I didn’t enjoy my coffee this morning too much - filter with non-dairy creamer! Same as any other US hotel I’ve stayed in so nothing out of the ordinary or worth complaining about.
I have spilt some of this non-dairy creamer on my desk and it looks like I’ve wasted no time in obtaining class A drugs, however I assure you its not. I don’t do drugs, not this time in the morning.
For anyone wondering what Miami looks like, this is the view from the side of the hotel.
So, what’s the plan, why am I here?!
Tomorrow is the iDate conference where we, World Dating Partners, are gold sponsors and have a very sexy stand. I’m looking forward to the next couple of days, should hopefully meet some great potential business clients, do a spot of networking. Then on the weekend we’re going fishing. Not something I thought I would be looking forward to, but the prospect of landing me a shark has got me going!
Time now for my breakfast, then need to spend a few hours working as I have a mountain of emails to get through, a few calls to make and I will also be making some final changes to my presentation which falls at the end of the iDate conference. I am here after all, not to enjoy the weather, beach, drugs or women.
Let’s not forget I am a clean cut business and family man, a pillar to society!
To sleep or not to sleep
I have reached that point now where I have to decide if or not I should go to bed. It has gone 4:30am and I need to be up within 2 hours. While the 2 hours would be very useful sleep I am worried that I will lay in bed, restless, then be annoyed that I have wasted my time!
I am not worried about being tired. I always find it good to deprive myself of sleep before flying west, backwards through the time zones, this way I can adjust very quickly to their hours. As I am off to Miami on tuesday, just over 24 hours away I could almost claim that this was perfectly planned! 5am = midnight, a very reasonable time to be going to sleep!
now, back to the matter in hand, sleep, or no sleep…. almost perfectly I have a USA quarter on my desk….
heads = sleep
tails = no sleep
………….
………
…..
..
Heads.
The coin has spoken. “In God we trust”
Good night.
The future is porn
I don’t normally get involved in the whole office humour and forwarding of crap emails. Actually I hate it, there are probably few bigger wastes of time.
But I did recently receive one email which I opened and read. It linked to a letter which was quite amusing:
Dear Internet Porn,
These last ten years have been quite a trip, have they not? My letter to you now, however, is not one of celebration… I don’t feel like we are the same anymore. We just don’t have that passion we used to.
When we first met I was a loser, and you were there for me. My parents told me that you were no good for me, but I didn’t listen. You showed me that there were plenty of people like myself getting laid. It was beautiful and passionate. Your softcore erotic videos were a tasteful introduction to my budding sexuality.
As I got older I started seeing girls on the side. I knew you were jealous, but you have always held a special place in my heart. You became naughtier and it affected my relationships. I started wanting all the things I had seen you do. I wanted to be just like you. I wanted to cover my girlfriend’s face, put it up her ass, choke her.
But that’s when I realized your dark secret, Internet Porn. You aren’t real: you are a fake and shallow individual. No girl wants a load on her face! Anal sex hurts and humiliates, and choking only leads to bruises that friends and loved ones ask about. You lied to me and changed my sexual expectations. Now no girl can please me.
I know it isn’t all bad. You’ve taught me so much. I can surf the internet with either hand and I know all the keyboard shortcuts for my browser. I know positions that aren’t even in the Kamasutra. But you have such a dark side. I’ve been late for work more than once and I find myself wanting to jerkoff at six in the morning. That’s what you’ve done to me.
Even now, on the eve of Christ’s birth, I sit hunched over my computer, penis in hand. I had to turn the nativity scene around so that Jesus wouldn’t see your filth. Try as I might, I can never hide you well enough either. It is harder to find you squirreled away on my hard drive than it is to get into my online bank account. Yet there is always lingering evidence. I’ve told you time and again to stop leaving your things at my place. But you ALWAYS forget something: a shortcut here, an unclear history there.
There’s no acceptance when you are discovered either. It might have been ok when we started - just innocent flirting with softcore. But now my girlfriends discover my asphyxiation collection, or that one goat video. I hate that you always invite your shadiest friends over when you come.
So I have one request. I know I can’t get rid of you… you are the psychopathic stalker to my teenage horror film. But if you won’t leave me alone, can you at least do me one favor? If I ever die, can you please format my hard drive? All of them? If you can’t do that, just burn my place down. My family can never know of my shame.
- Your shamed lover
Original article on Craigslist: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/518589816.html
It’s funny is because its true! I bet there are very few men who read this and it didn’t ring true to some degree, at the very least they can empathise with it.
The internet was made for porn, it has revolutionised the accessibility of it. Last week on the radio psychotherapists were claiming sex addiction had increased, almost purely down to the internet.
The trend is obvious - porn is on the up, especially now the internet is evolving to be all about content, not just information. High speed connections, large downloads and video streaming are the norm.
Whatever your views or morals you can not deny that there is big money in porn. Loads love it, some hate to love it, and another bunch of people love to hate it. I have no issues with it, from a business perspective it is time to embrace porn.
You could argue the internet is already over saturated with porn, but the truth is there is always room for more! For anyone looking to get in to affiliate marketing online, adult related sites are without a doubt the easiest to promote.
Sex sells, so if you can market it there’s always an opportunity. If you have something a little different AND can market then you’ve got something special…..
…. and I might have something special.
New Years Resolutions?
So, did any of you shitbags make new years resolutions?!
I hope not - because you know you’re going to fail!
The theory is simple, you shouldn’t need an excuse like New Years to do something about anything you are unhappy or unsatisfied with. If you were unprepared to make a sacrifice at any other time of the year then now is no different.
If you have made some and are still sticking to them give yourself a little patt on the back. Now give up. The Earths completion of another orbit around the sun will not change anyones abilty to motivate themselves where they could not before.
I hope you all enjoyed my motivational speech, I shall end it with telling you what my resolutions are!
- My resolutions
- Become a more efficient* - failed
- Be a nicer person - failed
In all seriousness, I did have a notion of clearing a bit of work over Christmas so that come the New Year I would have a slightly smaller or even non existant pile of work. I only partly managed this, but I will work some long hours over the next week or two to achieve it.
I have no specific resolutions other than setting myself a few very basic goals, these are silly things like: Buy a house, launch 1 or 2 new businesses etc….
These are things which I may well have been doing anyway, and do not actually require me to change anything in particular. But I do want to be constantly aware of these goals to keep me on track and so come the end of the year I can see just how many I have ticked off.
Off you lot trot then!, my rant is done.
* work shorter hours but get more done, sleep less but be more awake, eat less but have more energy.
