Phoebe had a party on Saturday with a few friends of hers to celebrate turning the grand old age of 3!

Monday was actually Phoebe’s birthday, and on Tuesday, after an ultra sound scan we announced to everyone that Phoebe will soon have little brother or sister.

I might scan the scan if I get time! Happy days.

I sit here right now in a rather reflective mood, thinking of what the future may hold and what I’ve done to get here I may as well share my thoughts.

Of course this is subjective so apologies if what I say you disagree with. I only speak using my own ideology of success, and what I think the “price” has been or could yet be.

For the past 5 or 6 years I have worked extremely hard - harder than anyone I know in fact. I won’t say I’ve worked better than anyone I know, just harder and longer hours than them! I’ve had some catastrophic failures, and I’ve had some minor successes. But in my own eyes I am still a long way off from what I would be able to call a huge success… apart from my daughter Phoebe who is without question something to be for ever proud of, and it was so easy too!!

If I don’t see myself as a success now, how can I talk about the costs of achieving it!? I can’t in all honesty! But at this moment in time I am close to earning more than I ever have done, my outgoings are the highest they’ve ever been too but this is a personal choice so I won’t complain, it is also something which is necessary for me to achieve what I want.

I am also on the brink of what I hope I will be able to say in the near future was a success, I am certainly not baking on it just yet, but I do know of the sacrifices made to even make it this far:

1) Long hours. Without question one of the most obvious to point out, but with that also comes seeing less of your family. It is they in reality who have to make the sacrifices, having to put blind faith that you are doing the right thing in putting work before them. Never easy, and often very upsetting.
2) Stress. I traded in the mundane 9-5 long ago, and with it I traded the security of a steady income. The freedom of empty evenings and weekends. The ability to look at cash purely as disposable income rather than always measuring it against what it might be used for in business. Making this trade means you inevetabley can become stressed, especially when times are tight. And again, it’s usually others around you that suffer most.
3) Sanity. Not to be confused for stress! I fear now that my mind set is so locked in to this that even after I begin achieving the ambitious goals I have set myself I will be unable to stop. If this is the case I may continue working insanely until the day I drop - lets hope I know when to quit!

So, think long and hard about whether or not you want to be successful! Or at least think long and hard about wanting to gauge your success on the same scale I do. Granted most won’t, but for those who do you’ve got to be prepared to work longer than anyone you know, harder than anyone you know, continue even when everyone else doubts you are doing the right thing, and painfully you may have to force others to make sacrifices in order that YOU can continue on your quest.

All sounds a bit bleak doesn’t it! I guarantee there are people out there who would disagree entirely with me, they might have achieved everything they ever wanted without encountering any of these issues. Some people are gifted with extreme talent, but even then most will work hard to focus those skills. In business there are very successful people who have a talent in finding the talent in others, having them do all the work and making some of the sacrifices… but again even these moguls will have bust their arses in their early days before they became more efficient in running their businesses.

So, to end on a bright note… I am happy with the life I have chosen and the path that I follow, I am more confident than ever that there are big things around the corner. I know that those around me who have had to make sacrifices with me will finally get to enjoy the rewards with me.

I have really suffered from stress only a couple of times, most significantly when I was managing 2 companies, both of which struggling, while juggling my massive personals debt.

Recently with the combination of moving house, work, long hours and again a few financial factors I’ve been a little more pressured than I have been for a long time. Though not stressed in the same way as I had been before, I can easily boil over in an instant and feel like murdering someone. Being an easy going and level headed sort of chap I am aware of the punishments facing such actions. I therefore try to avoid getting so angry I kill - it is inexcusable and “anger” will not help me in any court of law. Oh, I also don’t kill on moral grounds.

…anyway…. Saturday morning I went in to town to do a few routine things: Visit the bank to change my address, pop to post office, buy some lunch.
Instead of my planned routine I found myself in the bank, getting extremely pissed off and demanding to see the bank manager. I closed my account and stormed out. Town visit over.

For the rest of the afternoon I was very angry, very stressed, not pleasant to be around and definitely not productive.

Sunday morning the sun was shining and I saw a perfect opportunity to get out and mow the garden. Putting stripes up and down the lawn while Abi and Phoebe tended to the pots and plants was most satisfying indeed. Focusing on them, having lunch together and spending all afternoon in the garden was the first time in a long long long time I COMPLETELY forgot about work. Ridiculous how it took something so simple to put things back in to perspective for me. Then again everyone who knows me will vouch for what a complete fucking dick I can be!

Come Monday morning I was revitalised and looking on the bright side of life once more.

Realistically I can’t take much time off. I have massive work loads and responsibilities I must meet. But its nice to know that by stepping back for just a few hours I can unwind and appreciate what its all really about.

Click on images to see what makes me happy (zoomed in)

Well, in thoery anyway, obviously won’t count on it until i have the key in my hands. And even then have to shift everything from one house to another which is not going to be fun….

Have spent the last few days in London at the TFM&A. Not a massively exciting show, however as usual seemed to get some good business out of it.

I have to go to bed now, I am knackered and have a call at 7am.

I will be back in 2008 - with a vengeance!

In case you ever wondered what Christmas with me looked like, here you are:

It has just gone midnight in England, but where I am it is still the 3rd of November, and today was my baby girls 2nd birthday. Most people would say that I am a complete arsehole for travelling thousands of miles over the Atlantic, galavanting about on some business trip and completely miss her big day and party.

They would be entirely correct. This is a fine example of bad parenting. Do not do as I do! Luckily for Phoebe she has the best mummy in the world, and the rest of our family and frends are not bad either - they all made more of an effort to be with her today than I did.

On the upside, good relations have been made with nice people here. Business made and I am sure there is strong possibilty of other business opportunties as a direct result of this.

I will be returning, and definitely with the family. In fact, I could argue that really what I was doing was simply “testing” Florida to ensure it is of a suitable quality for my upper class family. I think it will suffice.